C'est Cheese!

 

 

 

It's Krimmatime in the city....

75 degres. Sunny. 37 different malls (but all with the same shit). Traffic jams worse than usual. Fake snow on lawns and lights in palm trees.

Welcome to Christmas in Los Angeles.

A few nights a week, me and The Husband-Type Man have been taking drives around to listen to Christmas music. One of the side benefits is seeing how our neighbors have decorated for the holidays... especially in neighborhoods like Hancock Park, Bel-Air and Beverly Hills. For the most part, there's basic stuff... icicle lights, thingies that blink on and off. those wicker-looking reindeer all lit with fairy lights, a light-up manger scene or a Santa Claus. But every now and then, we come across a house that makes whichever one of us that's driving hit the breaks and look for a place to pull over IMMEDIATELY, so that we can marvel that someone, somehow, some way, actually thought that this was a festive way to herald the holiday season. You know the kind.... Houses with so many lights that they give off a bizarre, nuclear glow and make people ask "How hard did these people make their [LA Stereotype Alert!] Poor Ethnic Other Gardener work to get all those stupid lights up?" Houses with anything and everything they could possibly find to light up piled on their front lawns. Houses with a quaint manger scene... surrounded by angels... and snowmen... and Santa... and candy canes... and an Elvis... and-

We've learned to keep our camera handy for occasions like this. Please come share with us the spirit of Christmas in LA....

 

The House that Christmas Shat Upon.

Someone did this on purpose! Someone TOOK A LOT OF TIME to do this! On purpose!

 

And in case you missed it the first time....

And just to give you an idea of HOW BIG this display is:

 

I'm scared!

Not only that, they actually had a temporary fence put around it! To protect it! 

But, moving on... what's worse than the temporary grossness of a bad Christmas display? Why, a permanently bad display, decorated for Christmas. To wit:

 

The David House. 

No lie... this house has a circular drive with TWENTY IDENTICAL DAVID STATUES placed around it. It was bad enough then. But when they rigged it out for Christmas, it just took on a whole new level of Very Importantness.

 

Um....

You thought all those identical statues in front of a suburban house was tacky? Dig this.... "Youngwood Court"! Hahahaha! "Youngwood Court! WHO are you people trying to fool?

 

Dear God.... 

Look up top, and you can see the additional statues on the rooftop at "Youngwood Court." Sooooo nouveaux riches, non?

Only in LA, boys and girls... only in LA....