C'est Cheese!

 

 

 

Oh, Boy....

 

Ken is such a pussy... Action Man and GI Joe, now... now THOSE are men!

 

"Nothing can defeat me, for I am ACTION MAN, ha HA!"

 

"Dude, you're a total tool, man!" "We could TOTALLY kick your ass, pussy!"

Even in his "Hey, groovy chicks!" shirt, Ken is no comparison for the Action Men. Action Men and GI Joe dolls are so much better than any Ken on the market. They're completely jointed. They're all buffed out. They got the finger-action thing happening. Why, they have EVERYTHING to make a Barbie reeeeeally happy, don't they?

 

And hey, how stoked would my old Barbies've been to have had THESE studs hangin' out at the Crickmore Compound?

Evil Headless Disco Ken... and his "friend," Evil No-Necked Bob....

Evil Headless Disco Ken, then known as David, has been tormenting Barbies for decades. Even now that his head stays on most of the time (thanks to some strategic pins and rubber bands inside his plastic body), that cheesy, Rick Dees-like smile and molded hair can still strike terror into the hearts of Barbie heroines. The latest Barbie Tormentor, Evil No-Necked Bob, is this really WEIRD doll I found at a 99-cent store a few months back. He has no neck. He has blue eyebrows. His hair is... weird. He has girly-doll limbs. He actually came dressed in that outfit. I've decided that if Mrs. Crickmore and Darth Vader had a secret, Boo Radley-like, Faulkneresque oldest son who, like, ran wild in the hills behind Crickmore Manor, it'd be Evil No-Necked Bob here....

Back to the Barbies....