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|:HOME:|:RANTS:|:APRIL 21, 1999:
"Local Hero"
APRIL 21, 1999

Okay, first, why were we treated to that special Stevie Nipple Cam shot? I mean, eyew.

Dylan and Gina's relationship sickens me. It's not funny, it's not intriguing, IT'S FUCKING DYSFUNCTIONAL AS HELL AND I'M SICK OF THE SHOW PERPETUATING THIS BS! Ditto Kelly and Lawyer Boy.

Why does Dylan have to drink and fight in EVERY episode?!

This Dylan/Kelly crap sucks, too. The car scene with Steve was the worst. The constant emphasis that they are somehow "meant" to be together because they wanna doink so bad characterizes EVERYTHING I HATE ABOUT THIS SHOW!

Who does Davy think he is, Jimmy-the-sports-guy/Jimmy Kimmel from Win Ben Stein's Money? What UP with the hair, dude?

Donna's upper-duck-lip needs to be the next thing she has surgically altered. And WHY was she trolling the streets in that green nightgown my mom used to wear back in 1978?

Hey, Nat was pouring iced tea this time, not coffee!

Last but not least, Redundant Motifs:

  • Pregnant woman going into insta-labor because of a traumatic event. Loved the immediate forgetting/lack of trauma for being mugged in this version.
  • Long lost sister from Daddy's "other" family.
  • Dylan, the alcoholic, sucking down shots.
  • Stevie taking credit for a good deed he didn't do. The variation here was, this time, he supposedly felt rilly guilty and opposed from the start.
  • Donna wearing butt-fucking ugly shirts.

And, oh yeah, Lawyer Boy, what with his Call 1-800-White Bread ads, shoddy cases and now completly blowing Gina's job (I mean, was the "I lined my birdcage with it" supposed to be "comedy"?) I'm more ready to believe that Donna's a fashion designer that makes all the Now Wear This Ugly Shit stuff before I believe Matt's a lawyer.

I'm too bored to continue. I'd rather go to bed early.